Part I of this series of posts addressed the first three ‘nanny commandments’ modified from the Nanny 911 website. Part II addressed the next five directives. This series of posts was inspired by Adam Hanft’s back page Grist column in the March issue of Inc. Magazine.
For a quick recap, the first eight commandments are:
1. Be consistent: No means no. Yes means yes.
2. Actions have consequences: Good behavior is rewarded. Bad behavior comes with penalties
3. Say what you mean and mean it: Think before you speak, or you’ll pay the price.
4. Partners Work Together As A Team: If you can’t be on the same page, your associates and staff are not going to know who to listen to – and they’ll end up not listening to anyone.
5. Don’t Make Promises You Can’t Keep: If you tell them you’re giving them bonuses, you better have the cash in the bank
6. Listen To Your Employees: Be open to their input. Then take the time to listen and to understand.
7. Establish a Routine: Routines make people feel safe and give structure to their time.
8. Respect is a Two-Way Street: If you don’t respect your partners, associates, and staff, they are not going to respect you.
And here’s the final group of directives:
9. Positive Reinforcement Works Much Better Than Negative Reinforcement - Praise, pleasure and pride accomplish far more than nagging, negatives and nay-saying.
Building on the theme of treating others with respect, this next directive demonstrates how showing appreciation builds loyalty and motivates people to continue ‘good’ behavior. Sometimes, motivating people is all a matter of language and phrasing.
I read an article once about the power of language, and how the use of positive, rather than negative language can have a profound impact on performance. The example that was used was of two children that had climbed too high in a tree and couldn’t get down. One parent called up to his child saying, “Hold on tight. We’re coming to get you.” The child clung to the branch and was ultimately rescued. The second parent yelled to her child and said, “Don’t look down, and don’t let go.” The child, looked down, got even more afraid, and ultimately fell from the tree, breaking her arm. Both children were capable of holding on, but the positive message made a big difference in their actual performance.
Studies have shown that people listen to the words, not necessarily to the message. In other words, even if the message is ‘not’ to do something, what results is a reinforcement of the offending behavior. Trial lawyers know that telling their adversary’s side of the story, even in a ‘negative’ form, serves to reinforce their adversary’s version of the story in the minds of the jury. The same is true for many ‘curative’ instructions – frequently a lawyer will not object to opposing counsel’s statements during a trial, because the ‘cure’ is for the judge to repeat the offending statement to the jury and tell them to ignore it. Not only is it impossible for the jury to ‘un-hear’ the statement, but the repetition of the statement by the judge only reinforces it in the jury’s mind. Although trial lawyers apply these principles in the courtroom, they’re often forgotten back at the office.
Although there are negative behaviors within a law firm that need to be corrected, often it’s better to turn the statement around and express it in a positive, rather than a negative way. For example, rather than constantly telling your associates, “Anyone who doesn’t meet their billable hour requirement is not entitled to a bonus,” it’s far better to tell them, “Those that meet their billable hour requirement are eligible to be considered for a bonus.” Expressing the message as a negative breeds resentment (the focus is on not receiving a bonus). Expressing it as a positive reinforces positive behaviors (the focus is on billing the required number of hours).
Associates and staff respond to praise, particularly if that praise is made publicly. Not only does the individual employee feel pride, which makes them more likely to continue to perform at a high level, but it sends a message to other employees about the firm's standards and values. Many firms forget to praise and focus instead on what isn't working and what behaviors need to be corrected. Like a child that feels that they can't do anything right because they only get negative feedback, employees get discouraged when the only news is bad news.
Consider turning negative statements into positive ones, and using positive, rather than negative reinforement for better results.
10. Manners Are Universal - Good behavior goes everywhere.
Adam Hanft 's suggests in his column that incivility is an epidemic in corporate America. The only good news is that if incivility is an ‘epidemic’ in corporate America, then it can’t all be blamed on lawyers. But that’s small comfort, and the complaints about lawyers’ bad behavior don’t seem to be slowing down.
Stories abound about lawyers like the lawyer who thought that his position entitled him to bully others, curse at them and disrespect them. Some of the news stories about the behavior of some lawyers in the courtroom (and elsewhere) are just shocking. Professional courtesy seems to be more and more difficult to come by. I’ve witnessed this kind of poor behavior, brow-beating, screaming and carrying on at depositions, meetings and trials. Recently, I had the unfortunate experience of witnessing ‘flame wars’ on a listserv made up entirely of attorneys. It’s a good bet that the attorneys that behave this way in public, are also behaving poorly within the office, and vice versa. Bad behavior breeds bad behavior, since attorneys that treat others poorly are likely to be treated poorly in return.
But rather than focusing on the negative, let’s get back to the positive. Teaching your associates and staff that civility is an important value within your firm will translate to better behavior outside of your firm – and that can only enhance the firm’s reputation. Whether communicating with opposing counsel, potential clients, judges, court personnel, or vendors, good behavior is much more effective, and reflects much more positively on your firm.
I used to counsel young associates that the best tip I had for getting ‘ahead’ in the business was to be nice to the clerks in the courts. ‘Good behavior’ opens many doors, whether it’s getting help with filing papers or not having to wait as long to see the judge for an order to show cause, or getting professional courtesies from other attorneys.
Good behavior, like bad behavior, breeds more of its kind.
11. Define Your Roles As Partners - It’s not your job to keep your employees attached to you. It’s your job to prepare them for the outside world – and let them be who they are.
You may be thinking that although this works for parenting, it doesn’t necessarily follow for a law firm. But consider that when you treat your employees like you’re supporting their career, regardless of whether they continue working at your firm, you’re adding value to the firm. Doing your job by training and supporting them, and preparing them for their future, whether it’s with your firm or not, makes them that much more likely to be loyal to the firm, and to contribute more while they’re with you. Even in the event that they leave the firm, they’ can still be good referral sources and can enhance your firm in other ways. Some of the larger firms are beginning to recognize that, and set up ‘alumni networks’ for those that leave their firms.
Allowing your employees to be who they are is akin to what Jim Collins calls ‘getting the right people in the right seats on the bus’ in his book, Good to Great. Identifying and playing to the strengths of each individual within your firm not only allows your employees to shine, but makes the best use of any firm’s greatest resource – its people.
Defining your roles as partners makes sense in other contexts, too. Training and development of employees are just the tip of the iceberg, and all of the roles partners play within the firm should be identified, explored, and communicated throughout the firm.
Ultimately, the biggest role a partner plays is the role of the leader. It’s the role of the leaders of the firm to focus on the future, identify changes to be made, emphasize the firm’s goals and the results the firm wants to achieve, emotionally support the vision for the firm, and to inspire others to work toward that vision. One of the best ways to inspire others to work toward a vision is to show them how their individual goals are or can be aligned with the firm’s vision, so that they become emotionally involved, not only in their own future, but in the future of the firm.
Preparing associates and staff for their future is a win-win proposition for the employee and the firm.
Do these ‘commandments’ sound basic? Much of the best advice is. But often, the simplest advice is the easiest to ignore and the most difficult to follow. These commandments can be applied not only to your children and to your law practice, but to all relationships, both personal and business.
Look for a future series of posts applying parenting principles to your relationships with your clients.
